#Sort of a redraw of art i made in 2017

[ratcandy]

i have redrawn this same piece 5 times over the course of 8 years . why? because I can

take my hand. i'll show you my journey

^(most recent rendition)

this was the original 2015 drawing . yes it was made it mspaint. And I think edited in firefox or something. I'm uncertain. It's been a while!!! These two characters by the way are named Draak (the dragon) and Vulture (the lil fluffy thang with the mask). Their plot boiled down to the tried and true "experiments in a lab" thing.

2017 version. From here on I switched to IbisPaint. Yes I have been using the same art program for that long leaVE me ALONE Also I have no idea why the quality is so bad. It looks like that on DeviantArt (where it was originally posted) too. But I don't remember the quality being that bad. I dunno. Probably Eclipse shenanigans since D.A. has changed

also the "p.s" - which you'll eventually see become a "j.k." - was my signature. Do Not even Worry about it

oh hey the quality is better. Weird Anyway, 2018 version! Yay!

my favorite thing about the progression of these images is watching Vulture gradually lie down . lil man is just getting cozy.

2019, she figured out how to draw a chain properly!! Good for her!

also the background got more detailed so that's neat. Draak is turning pointier. I un-rounded him.

and, of course, the newest version is the first image on here. here it is again in case u forgot,

you will notice I completely changed Draak's pose. Why? Because I didn't want to draw him laying down. 👍 While Vulture decided to get comfier, Draak decided to get angrier. And honestly. Good for him

You will also notice the background got significantly Less Detailed. that is because I have regressed when it comes to drawing backgrounds hKSJDHGKJH I hate doin it. So I don't!!!

and um. Yeah! That was all. It felt like it had been a while since I drew these freaks n I've been redrawing some older characters recently anyway (and not posting them. because I didn't FEEL like it) so.

Yeah!!! That has been Clam's art journey so far . make of that what u will. I just like looking at my improvement over time . it make me feel all sorts of encouraging ways . n ensures I am not going nowhere as an artist.

i recommend redrawing old pieces sometime. It's fun :) n may give you a little validation in these Trying Times

[allegra-j-joann]

I've set myself a challenge, rather than be ashamed of and ignore my old art, I've sorted it by year and decided to redraw a few pieces from each so I can compare them, tonight i finished the first few

March 2017, one of the first pieces of digital art I made

August 2017

I hadn't yet discovered stabiliser settings or line thickness when I traced the pose from an anime base(please ignore the fact that I still can't draw draw plants)

December 2017

I was just beginning to figure out fabric and posing in a 3d space, and I remember making a deviantart account just so I could post this OC

[fishcakes707]

I was looking through some old art of mine and I found some really old drawings I made in like 2017. I really liked the character’s designs and thought they had potential to be even better, so I decided to redraw the characters. The original characters were made in honor of myself, one of my cousins, and my sister. They were all human, but they also had some sort of animal feature to them. So when redrawing them, I wanted to try and draw them with the animal features, but ended up cutting them out because it just didn’t look right. I the thought it’d be cuter if I tried to give them all a hair style that represented their animal features. The yellow and blue characters, who were a bear and a fox, turned out pretty great in my opinion, but I think I could’ve done better for the pink one who was a bunny originally. I could’ve done pigtails, but I wanted to go with a bun sorta style like I did with the other two characters. So I thought I should give her half buns, but I don’t think I drew them that well. I don’t really plan on making these three drafts complete drawings. I was gonna, but I kinda lost interest. I did really like how the blue draft came out, so I might come back to it on the future. It’s funny because I thought initially predicted that I’d be the least happy with that one whilst I had high hopes for the other two. Oh well, I don’t mind it too much. Anyways, I hope you like these drawings and have a nice day or night.

[potatoodles]

Children of Ill Omen

[syrupyyyart]

load me

[starberry-kat]

self portraits/icons over the years, wild to see how both my art style and perception of my own face has changed over time.

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

@softladyhours​

Hi! Omg hi lol! Markiplier fandom I have returned to you once more. I’m going back to my roots lol

Okay so, sorry this is a tad late, I've had lots of irl stuff to deal w because of the global panini, but I've had some free time this week to finally get to this! I’m hoping to make up for it with sheer volume of content to give you lmao >:)

You're very lucky I got back into Mark's content like last month lol, otherwise your ask would have oh so tragically stagnated in my ask box. Since you've reminded me of such a lovely little tidbit from this blog's past, I drew up a little something special for ya:

A redraw! Of sorts lol. I like to think my art has improved a bit since, what, 2017? 2018? But anyway, it’s them! I may do a few more sketches of them here and there if more inspiration strikes hehe

And as you asked, some headcanons for you as well:

- Dames does in fact use his cane when he snaps (think of it as instinctual lashing out when he's distressed instead of the peppy absentminded way Wilford will pull out a gun), though I think with all that goes on with the rest of the egos, he's probably learned his way around a knife or two to balance his out his skill set. The cane isn't always stained, but it's not particularly uncommon to see it sticky or crusted with red. Sometimes, when he's having an off day, someone has to advise Dames to go 'polish' it clean before it gets too grungy.

As for the Colonel, well:

- I think he's primarily called Dark, as ours is, but certain egos can get away with calling him the Colonel sometimes (usually Dames, but also egos he'd be more inclined to respect like the Host,  Dr. Iplier, etc.), so it isn't unheard of to hear him referred to in that manner. Plus, it's just very obvious in the way he holds himself that he was once a military man.

- The Colonel only sometimes wears suits. More often, you'll find him in a well fitted button up and slacks held up by suspenders. On rarer occasions, he'll wear a greatcoat or suit jacket over this ensemble.

- Since this Dark is made up of William and Celine instead of Damien and Celine, he lacks the portion of suave charm and wit that Damien brought to the table. Instead, he strikes me as a man that would have a more gruff, stoic charm, kind of like the older uncle everyone in the family just instinctively respects because of his strong bearing and self assuredness he exudes. If he's keen to make a good impression, he has the vibe of good solid drinking buddy you can fuck shit up with, type of guy not easily taken aback. You get the feeling he's tough but fair and has seen enough shit to not tolerate any bullshit from anyone.

- Everyone knows that Dark is a bit soft around Dames (not to say he hasn't caused the poor man emotional distress on occasion, this is Dark we're talking about), but he's also got that rough lumberjack dad vibe around some of the less powerful/overtly hostile egos like Erik. He isn't necessarily nice, he's more the 'fair and wise advice giver' type. Like an emotionally repressed parental figure that isn't particularly good at comfort but is very well versed in helping you get your life back in order. Very tough love and reality check sort of guy when he's trying to be supportive.

- That said, the Colonel is fucking big. This mf is built like a brick shit house on top of being some sort of conglomerate of eldritch horror, so when he's angry he's fucking terrifying. Our Dark is a powerful demon twunk in a suit with manipulative tendencies. This Dark is a demon beef cake that roars like a fucking feral bear when he's angry. When things are bad, they're bad, and the other egos tip toe around him the way a child would around an angry father (and if any notices that after a while the Colonel stops blowing up like that when Erik is around, well, it's not like anyone is complaining, character growth and all that).

- The Colonel can't stand himself sometimes. Just fuckin hates his own company every now and then. I think in general this version of Dark is just much more volatile than the one comprised of Damien and Celine. While siblings can bicker, the tension between what's left of Celine and William has got to be fucking insufferable. I don't know what the fusion equivalent for our Dark would be, but the Colonel definitely seems like he would have problems similar (if distinct) to Malachite from Steven Universe. William and Celine just aren't very good for each other anymore, especially not the forced together remnants of their souls bound by dark magic, and it really shows sometimes. If you thought our Dark seemed horrible, the Colonel is downright intolerable sometimes, even to himself. Learning to deal with it is a long, continuous journey for him, and he's had many, many, many bad slips that he fails to process in a healthy way. It's a long while before the rest of the egos start to be able to trust him (or at least trust that he won't threaten/scare them the next time he blows up).

- Everything has it's ups and downs though, and when things are looking up the Colonel is a surprisingly good listener. The other egos may be periodically afraid of and threatened by him, but Dark just as easily slots into the space of protector and trusted confidante when the need arises. There's something almost maternal in the way he guides the others, yet blunt and no nonsense. It doesn't reduce the healthy dose of fear and respect the others have for him, only further solidifies his capacity as a leader to them. Dark is surprisingly soft in these moments, and everyone he's lent an ear to treasures the experience.

- Dark sometimes indulges in painting his nails. No one ever dares ask him about it. Except Dames, only to say that he likes the black, but thinks that pink is much more Dark's color.

- When he's feeling more stable (and far less neurotic), and if the egos are lucky, the Colonel will sometimes sit and listen to old tunes play on a record player as he whittles away at a piece of wood in the common area. The rest of the egos will gather 'round to read, knit, nap, whatever they like to pass the time with. It's as close to family bonding as they tend to get in the early days. And if the Colonel is lucky, Dames will play along on the dusty old upright piano that sits in the corner. The small wood carving in his rough hands is always a gift for Damien when this happens. Very carefully, no one ever reacts to this, save for Dames and his enthusiastic gratitude.

- Dark has a gun on him at all time that he rarely needs to use. He doesn't much like pulling it out, it tends to scare Dames.

- When Dames gets scared, or upset, or just all around has a very bad day, the Colonel learns to always be aware of it when it happens. Later still, he learns how to help with it beyond stern words and frustrated, fumbling attempts at care. After the early days have long become an embarrassing and unpleasant reminder of their sharp learning curve, if the other egos tend to occasionally find Dames and Dark asleep and tucked into some quiet corner of the manor together, well. The Googles happen to have a very secure cloud to upload the ensuing pictures to.

- Overall the this version of Dark has a different edge to him than our Dark does, meaning that the egos in this au have to deal with an angry emotional abusive bull in the early days rather than regular Dark’s deceitful and psychologically manipulative nastiness and snake-like tendencies. Not to ignore that, but I am a softie at heart, so I like to think that eventually the Colonel (and regular Dark as well) learns to process his trauma in a less destructive manner and treat the other egos, a found family of sorts, much better in the long run. I’m always a sucker for character development lol.

Hope ya’ll find this interesting! God knows I haven’t thought about this au in ages lmao, so anyone feel free to hmu about it, I love diving back into old interests when the mood strikes. ^-^

[nightsmudge]

"Riddle Keep Riddle Keep Why do you creep? Through time and through halls Through darkness and walls?" Riddle Keep is an enigmatic being, tending to speak in utter nonsense and rhymes, while at the same time seeming to have some sort of untold omnipotent knowledge. Their body is made up of literal garbage, old straw, and abandoned household appliances, all sewn up and packed together in burlap cloth and a suit. Due to this, it's believed that they initially didn't have a physical body, so they created their own from whatever scrap material they could find. They possess the power to travel to multiple universes, but they tend to only stay in one, and instead send out their two associates to scout and keep watch over the multiverse for them. One is called the JudgeR, an equally unstable and strange being who destroys worlds that have been deemed too dangerous to exist. And the other Kuela, a playful and mischievous being who watches over and sometimes befriends significant residents in a universe. He seems to be the most levelheaded and stable of the three. It is unknown why they exist or what their goals are, but those who have seem them feel a sense of foreboding, and warn others to stay away from the tall spindly figure with the burlap face, despite the fact they seem to be harmless. ------------------------------------------------------- So this was a fun but incredibly tedious art assignment Basically, we have to create an animation or animatic of something using charcoal, all while doing ever single frame on the same page by erasing and redrawing stuff, that way the past frames could still be faintly seen and be a part of future frames. And I figured using a mystical and strange universe-traveling being would be perfect for the shifty and unpredictable nature of charcoal. This project was a headache and it took forever to complete, but I love how it turned out Btw, the design for Riddle Keep just popped into my head randomly one night back in 2017 as I was about to drift off to sleep, like an image flashing before my eyes

[espytalks]

ive been drawing for quite a while. and looking through my old art, i found ive been drawing online for a whole flippin decade. wow.

so here’s 10 drawings ive done over the last 10 years, with commentary. it’s a long one, though, so be careful.

2010:

I had to dig through my deviantart for these first two. This pikachu is the first thing i ever posted online! i remember drawing this in ms paint with a mouse. i remember being very proud of this, and in a way, i still think it’s cute. it has a “drawing my kid done that i hung on a fridge’ vibe. 

i didn’t do much around this time. i barely knew how the internet worked, and i mainly read instead of drawing. i did some pokemon sprite edits though, for some reason. i remember really liking doing that.

2011:

i’m pretty sure i drew this mew in gimp. also with a mouse, because i had no idea tablets existed. ive always been super into pokemon, and around this time i think i was watching a lot of mickey mouse cartoons? it’d explain the weird style. 

i’m impressed with the shading, though. i did the best with what i knew, and what i could figure out on my own. not pictured is the hundreds of mickey sketches i did around this time, or the self insert oc i made lol.

2012: oh no it’s pony time. i spent about 5 years drawing primarily these things. kinda wish i hadn’t in hindsight, but ah well.

i had this program on my ds that i could draw and post my art on, and i was using it a lot around this time. a lot of my art has this sketchy look to it, because of that. i remember i had quite a few followers on it, or at least i think i did. i dunno if that website still exists, or if anyone even uses it anymore.

but anyways, this drawing is super cute. ya can’t go wrong with a sleeping pone. i forgot the cutie mark, tho. i always forget minor important details like that. either that or i drew her as a filly. can’t remember.

2013: yeah, i think this as vent art? can’t remember, but i drew it on that same program. i put a lot of effort into the perspective. this was based on my room at the time, btw.

2014: i believe this was for a new artist’s training grounds on eqd. i must’ve had a tablet by now, cause i can see tapering in the lineart. it was a big deal for me, and it sucks that i can’t remember what the first ting i drew with it was. i think it was some sketches.

but you can definitely see some improvement by now. i was really getting used to drawing this one thing. but a lot of people following me seemed to like my art back then. it was called cute, and expressive and cartoony. 

i think this was around the time i was at my best, as far as notes and interaction goes. 

2015: *megalovania intensifies*

i was super into undertale at the time. and 2014-15 was when i started to try and draw other things aside from ponies. you cal tell my poses and anatomy is mega awkward and kinda bad here, but this was a major improvement for me. 

2016: i was a fan of steven universe since it first aired, but i very rarely drew fanart for it. but as i was getting more comfortable with drawing peole, i got more ambitious with the characters i tried to draw.

i also from around this point on tried to get better at traditional art. and i think this was the first inktober i tried, but i don’t think it was the first i finished.

i really liked this drawing. and i may or may not have a wip redraw of this going on right now. wish me luck!

2017: KNOOOOOXXXXX I LOVE YOU, YOU PRECIOUS BOI

this is my favorite drawing. i peaked here and i will never be as good and pure as this single icon i did. it’s purple, he’s happy, it’s PASTEL AND SPARKES!!!!

i also got super into bendy and the ink machine this year, which sparked a renewed interest in trying to improve in drawing, and also led me to create my favorite oc ever.

i think i improved a lot around this time. my shapes and anatomy became cleaner and more consistent. on a technical level, i think this is where i started getting really good as an artist.

2018: i don’t think i improved a lot this year. i honestly feel like ive stagnated since then, and depression hasn’t helped. 

it’s a tough choice between this and the hollow knight drawing for best drawing of the year, but this is my personal favorite. sorry, mm, but mickey will always win out in my opinion. i know ya liked the other one though, and it’s also really good. 

i like how this turned out, and i’m so glad it’s got the most notes of anything else ive drawn. it’s pretty, and i love the style. this is how i wish i drew all the time.

2019: and finally we have this.

i don’t care how poorly this did. i was proud of myself for doing this. it’s cute and pretty and i like it. I created a vague story where she’s a little astronomer who’s like, caged for some reason, but now she’s free.

in hindsight, i think i coulda done a lot better, but i still like it. it’s one of my favorites that ive done this year. i wish i drew more this year, but the last few months ive been super depressed. it’s been hard to want to draw anything, and i feel so uncreative and mediocre. 

i’m hoping next year i’ll be better, and i’ll have stuff in my personal life more sorted out, and i won’t feel as bad.

this was nice, though. i’m glad i looked through my old art. maybe i’ll figure out what i’m missing, and get back on track. and maybe i’ll finish these wips i have going on lol. we’ll see.

happy new year, everyone. and may this next decade be even better for us all as creators, and as people.

[starrbirrd]

My best friend and I met in 2012 in sixth grade, and we hit it off right away. We were both interested in Warrior Cats, Naruto, Drawing, Writing- all that. So of course we made stories despite being wee babes, and I decided to draw my friend a “book cover” for hers! Well, it became a tradition of sorts to redraw it every few years, and I figured I would show the art over the years to show how much progress has been made, and to hopefully encourage others to keep drawing no matter how bad they think their art is now! There’s more than one picture, so I placed everything under the cut to keep things from getting too long!

No idea why tumblr decided to flip them around, but this is the first one I drew! Probably around 2012/2013 or so. Look at that hair! Those eyes! I was super proud of this back then, and honestly, I think that was what kept me drawing all these years- I was never ashamed or embarrassed of my art when I was younger even if it was horrible, not like I am now. I was confident and happy with it just because I could actually draw things, and my family never discouraged me from it or told me the pictures were ugly.

Circa 2015, I think? The eyes got better! But the hair...Absolutely did not, and would you look at that face? The body looks like a rectangle- and yet again, I was still so proud of this and happy that I could make things for my friend! I remember spending hours on these drawings because I had to make sure they were good enough, so I guess that much hasn’t changed!

This one is around late 2016, maybe m ore in 2017. Everything improved so much! Plus I really enjoyed the idea of it being split, but I obviously didn’t know how to really do it back then. I look at this picture now and think, “That split is horrible. Those eyes are huge. What’s up with those shoulders???” but I still remember loving how far I’d come from before.

And finally, this one, drawn 2019, an hour from 2020. Look at how different it is from how I started out! The eyes, the hair, the addition of more than just an upper body, the fact that it’s digital. I’ve come such a long way in what feels like such a short amount of time. If you showed this picture to my twelve year old self, she would think it was absolutely amazing. Of course, I still see every little thing wrong with it, even if it was a quick sketch. I know I still can’t do hands, I know I still need to work on clothes, and angles are the death of me. But still... I’m proud. If you showed me art from years ago and I didn’t know it was mine, or if I had drawn something like that today, I would think it was ugly or call it a failure. But look at those ‘failures’ and look at where I’ve gotten today. Look how much better things are, and how I’ve become 12 year old me’s greatest dream.

Be proud of your failures, guys. And keep your old art. Don’t give up drawing, either. You’ve got a long way to go, but you’ll get there, but keep at it! If I can go from up there to this, you can do even better.

Happy New Years! Let’s see where I am come 2021!

[crqstalite]

( GLOW UP )

So unlike the rest of you, I’m 14. Meaning I was four at the beginning of the decade. I don’t have drawings from then and honestly the stuff I made years ago I can’t find. Instead, I had to go rifling through my old accounts to find my VERY old DeviantArt account (ConfectionalyYours for anyone curious enough to go looking at an old account I thankfully took everything down from when I moved accounts, and then starr-lani for anyone who wants to see pre-tumblr starr.), and this is what I found during my treasure hunt I deemed safe for my eyes and yours.

Explanation beneath the cut, but the dates for these pictures are: 2016, 2017, 2018, 2018 (later), early 2019, late 2019.

First off, my first actual drawing that I can find. Or paint-over. Obviously a base was used here and it’s for an old next-gen Percy Jackson fanfiction that actually did have over four poorly written books on Wattpad. It was...surprisingly popular if I can remember correctly. The black haired girl was supposed to be a daughter of Hades (Nico and Thalia’s specifically...I hate myself for this honestly), and the orange haired was a daughter of Hephasteus (Leo and Calypso, but Calypso was dead in this fic apparently? I’m not even sure why.). First LGBT couple I ever had though, so good on ten year old me.

Second one was from actually two years ago today. For a Voltron fanfiction that garnered some popularity on Wattpad and Archive of Our Own (if you’re curious, here’s the account it’s posted on >> euphoria_starrs). Honestly, it’s bad and I haven’t touched it in literal years only to crosspost it on AO3 sometime in 2018. According to me, here’s her profile:

“Name: Megan Cordellia Age: 17 Gender: Demigirl Species: Pureblood Galra Height: 5"6 Weight: 121 _______________ Paladin of: former paladin of the blue lion Bayard: sniper rifle (she shares this in common with Lance) Preffered weapon: staff Relationships: New paladins (friends), Alleria (sister of a sort), Sydney (half-brother), Sombrina (friend), Zarkon (past friend; new enemy) Megan, like in the original series, is a Galra female who stayed with the alteans after the death of her mother, father and sisters. However, Megan is outspoken and ready to fight for what she believes in, and will not hesitate to call you out. She can be rash and often not as understanding as you may believe, however she is a Blade of Marmora, and has gone through extensive training and conditioning to the battlefield and results of it. She has a hard time empathizing with people, and that makes her unlikable at times. Unlike Alleria, she has been awake from stasis for two years now, and was a major part of Keith's training, even if he didn't know exactly who she was, and Megan was still conditioning herself to being in a new era. Kolivan and the other Blades do not know she is from another era, however.”

I’m personally horrified, but take that as you will.

The third picture is of the three characters I wrote about from the second picture, from my Next Generation Voltron AU. All Klance kids (I was a horrid person back then, I’m being honest here). The anatomy was so bad, not to say I can’t improve from my most recent works, but I cringed trying to even pick which picture to use from that year that wasn’t going to burn your eyes inside out. 

Honestly these characters had like no character development, and years later trying to pick apart this mess, I cry knowing that I’ve improved tremendously in my writing.

The fourth picture is of the second princess of Altea? Another Voltron OC (I was addicted to it as soon as it came out), named Alleria (so bright, I know). I think she was supposed to be connected to the second character somehow, but the details of this AU allude me so badly. I hate that I deleted so many stories and left myself without even a basic explanation of who these characters even were. I didn’t even write much in the description, other than that it was a redraw of something. Of what, I don’t know.

The fifth picture is a very long story. Short answer is that they were fusions of my friends when i was really into Steven Universe. There are three versions of it, if you’re brave you can look at the first two, 1 , 2  . I personally despise it, and I’m not even friends with some of the people included anymore. Honestly, I had improved quite a bit since the first one was designed though.

The sixth picture is the most recent thing I’ve done. Khaak and Lana, you’ve probably already seen it today. But now I’m even more proud of it looking back at everything else I’ve drawn in the past few years. Obviously my anatomy, shading and coloring has improved (though I have so far to go to even compare to a few of my favorite artists in the SWTOR community here) and so has my storytelling. I don’t know what my roaring 20s will bring for me, but I proud of how far I’ve come art-wise, as a writer and as a person. A happy 2020 to you all!

[alisterfoxdraws]

Original art | Galaxy cat

A sort of redraw of a sticker design I made in 2017. I said "sort of" because I changed it so much you barely realise it's a redraw!

Check out my other cute art or follow me on Instagram for more doodles and WIP!

[vynru]

A redraw of this monstrosity. Or, the old one is a monstrosity (time-taken-wise, it’s not that ugly either). I quite like this redraw, actually. It took me from the 11th of May until now– which is a little more than a month. Long time, huh? Of course I wasn’t able to draw for all of that time, but let’s take a look at the old version from 2017…

This thing. This freaking thing took me almost two years.

This is not an exaggeration. I used to have a habit that every single time I made a significant change I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep (I pretty much always did), I would save the drawing as a new file. This means that between 2016 and 2017 I had saved countless of different files of the same drawing, numbered from A1 A2, etc, to D51, and because of this, I was able to check how long each phase of the drawing took me.

But then, here goes: The sketch was made before the 25th of April 2016 until the 12th of April 2017. Yes. A full year to make a sketch. I wouldn’t call it sketching, though. I used 3D models in CSP and countless of pictures I made of my own hands and family members who posed for me, which I traced, tossed out, and tried again because I couldn’t cobble it together properly or just wasn’t happy with because 3D models look stiff and real people don’t translate well to an anime-ish style. I’m pretty sure I somehow managed to learn my first bit of anatomy by screwing around with this single drawing for a full year. It’s kind of a shame, really. Because of this ridiculously patient perfectionism, I don’t have any completed trashy drawings of where I first started anime-style. And I really would’ve loved to redraw something that’s just objectively horrible instead. But ah well.

The line art was done between the 12th of April 2017 and the 6th of September 2017… almost 5 months. In this time, I’m pretty sure I redid the shoes (the line art ended up being traced & edited over pictures of my own shoes (these became Hiroshi’s, but I mostly made the shoes thinner and added that rectangle, which was a zipper on my real shoes) and my sister’s (Naoki’s), both of which I had stuffed with toilet paper to appear filled on the pictures). I redid a bunch and had no muscle control from being very inexperienced in drawing digitally, so I would often spend hours and hours on just a tiny portion of the drawing (I also wanted the lines to be p e r f e c t and just refused to use any stabilization tool). It was honestly starting to feel like a world map I was working on.

Then, it took me over a month to do the base colors, from the 6th of September 2017 until the 22nd of Oktober 2017. Again, not working on the drawing all the time, bad muscle control, just having no knowledge whatsoever about colors and being way too perfectionistic for my own good was to blame for this.

The shading, surprisingly, only took me from the 22nd of October 2017 until the 4th of November 2017– a small two weeks. Apparently, I had somehow taught myself the basics of drawing anatomy/anime in only one illustration. It sounds like some sort of strange online scam, but I swear, it has got to be the most inefficient and tedious way to practice something. Almost two years could have been spent filling so. many. sketchbooks.

But now, over three years after I started this drawing, I was finally able to recreate it without tracing anything and using very little reference except for my own drawings. I’m usually not against using reference, but I wanted to use as little as possible for this specific redraw just to see if I could “stand on my own legs” this time.

And honestly, I’m extremely happy with the result. I even managed to pick colors I like a lot without adjusting them with a filter (I didn’t do that in the original either… which is very visible OUCH), so I think I can safely say that, after over three years of drawing digitally, I’ve finally “finished” this drawing… Until I redraw it again, that is! Because I definitely won’t just let go of this now that I’ve put just so. much. time into this drawing, so I’ll likely keep coming back to it every few years to see how much I’ve improved.

[jghermit]

Well, here we are. Once again we’ve come to the end of a year and the start of another.

This time last year, I made the decision to draw and post every day in 2017, which for the most part I accomplished (there were only two times I was late, which is better than I thought I was gonna do). While I was doing this year-long endeavor, I came to a realization about my art: While having a lot of reblogs and likes was nice, the number didn’t matter. If for whatever reason only one person liked or reblogged something I drew, then I was happy because I made some sort of impression on that one person. And if a piece got no notice, then that was okay, too; as long as I was happy with it, then all was well.

I still remember the first week or so after starting that my little sister suggested I redraw the first thing I drew this year. While it wasn’t a bad idea, it wasn’t until today that I decided that I wanted to use this last drawing for the year as a chance to do a quick reflection instead.

Like for a lot of people, 2017 wasn’t the best year I had. I can’t say for sure if it was the worst year, but I will say with certainly it was the most difficult. Between the death of a close relative, coming to terms with my own mental health, and other family issues, it’s been rough. And that’s just my own personal experiences, as a lot of stuff has happened outside my little bubble as well, and I will say the future is not too assure in that aspect.

But at the same time, I experienced a few good things, too. I participated in my first zine in a community that I’ve been a part of for a long time now, and getting to help work on that was a lot of fun. I also joined both the Jacksepticeye and Markiplier communities this year as well, and I will say I’m so glad to be a part of them, as crazy as they can get sometimes. Plus, I have a lot of drawing inspiration for next year, and a strong desire to do more speed paints and more time consuming projects in the near future.

As uncertain as I am for 2018, I feel some confidence going into it. So thank you everyone who has shown their support throughout the year regards of how you’ve showed it. It always means a lot to me, and I can only hope that next year will be better for everyone.

So until then, stay safe and have a Happy New Year!

[365/365]

[ryderaquino]

Just wanted to share this piece I entered in the recent Star Wars: The Last Jedi FanArt contest, which was lucky enough to win 1st Place at the recently concluded Philippine ToyCon 2017. Conceptually, it’s basically an homage to the imagery from the hit Playstation post-apocalyptic game The Last of Us, but in the stead of its main characters Joel and Ellie, I saw a parallel with Luke and Rey... (aside from the words “THE LAST” too, hehe) so I thought this mash-up would make for a cool looking piece. The resulting artwork is a mixed media of sorts... Using the Last of Us Remastered black & white art as a basis, I started with painting flats and outlining details with lineart. The tricky part was although the pose is almost the same, Luke and Rey’s clothes and weapons are far different. Basically I substituted Joel and Ellie’s pistol and shotgun for Luke and Rey’s lightsaber and staff they’re famous for, as well as basing their costumes from their look in the Last Jedi movie (and Luke’s cyborg hand of course!). Then came the details... I took actual images of their costume and weapons, and even some details from Joel and Ellie’s clothes as well - and ‘pasted’ it over the color flats. Spent a lot of time ‘blending’ all the elements together so it looks like they’re all coming from the same light source, lots of shadowing, selective highlights, and whatnot. Blended in some of the lineart as well to give that ‘art sketch’ feel. Had to redraw Rey at a point as she looked too much like Ellie, and made her a bit taller as well. Basically, I just made this stuff/process up as I went along and I’m proud it turned out the way it did. Made a GIF of some of the historical sessions I had making this piece. Anyway, this is for the fans of THE LAST OF US x STAR WARS out there! Peace!

[lostedges]

Lost edges 5

‘I am a sculptor a moulder of form

In every moment I shape an idol

But then in front of you, I melt them down

……..

In this house of mud and water

My heart has fallen to ruins

Enter this house, my love, or let me leave’

           Rumi, https://allpoetry.com/I-am-a-sculptor,-a-molder-of-form 30/11/19

  I am making another self-portrait. It is challenging. I start the portrait whilst moderating an A level exam, over three consecutive days. I re-draw several times, through initial stages of colour. At each stage thinking I’ve cracked it, only to come back and realise it looks weird. There’s a tendency in my mind to reassure, to encourage a veneer of flattery in terms of self-evaluation – not in beautifying the image necessarily, but in make-believing the work is more successful than it is. I need reassurance, even if it’s from myself. For me, painting is a constant struggle. It is endlessly digging deeper for a more profound understanding, against my less helpful instincts.  I’ve struggled to structure the head correctly in paint. I initially made the head too narrow and have laboured this in error. Adjusting this has set in motion a series of other adjustments. It is a fluid process of pushing towards quality. Good is not good enough, and good is a distant country. The push towards understanding is an open question. I am not troubled by self. I’ve seen the suit of armour, with its imperfections and passages of integrity.  Self is not a burden in working. I am troubled. How could I fail to be at this time? I’m painting that. This is the thematic route into the drawing. My initial inspiration for this painting, as a study of technique-meeting-idea, is a Rembrandt self-portrait. Black hat, enlarged eyes. I’m so impressed with the apparent fluidity of touch in his work while working with thick paint. It looks well-rehearsed, but it is almost impossible to understand how such subtlety is applied so confidently. Humility needed on my part. I notice I’m inclined to work with colour in blocks, a touch of Lucien Freud, who I admire, although it’s not necessarily helpful in achieving my intentions. In Freud, the edges of the unsoftened brushstroke give structure and huge physicality and gravity – the heart of his paintings. In Rembrandt, there’s more ‘inner’, more of the spirit. I’m wary of copying, but at this point of exploration I must accept that I will take time to work out a method and language that feels like my own.

At the end of this process I take the painting home and seek to work it up, thickening the paint in Rembrandt-like impasto. It has a rough, bold quality to it, which I find satisfying. There is a sense of Rembrandt in the lighting and colour, and the roughness of the work, makes for a physical edge that I want to associate with myself, in terms of capturing some internal quality of physicality. A desire for bravura. The more I look, however much I am seduced by the quality of paint, I know that the drawing is just not me. It’s clear that despite looking to widen the head in previous re-draws, I’ve not taken this far enough. I’m past the point of wanting it to be just OK, so I redraw with paint several times. I have to destroy the stage I had reached and built towards carefully. The new re-draw brings with it new problems. Nose is bigger and at the wrong angle. Big nostrils. Plausible, but not quite me. There is a degree of frustration here. I want the work to be resolved quickly. I am learning degrees of patience.

Painting the self-portrait is, mentally speaking, a layered, rich negotiation. A negotiation between my aspirations as a painter, and my confrontation of self-image. My internal self-image is brought outwards for external scrutiny. It is a curious thing to make a version of yourself that sits outside, permitting inspection in some sort of objective/subjective exchange of perception. Making a text from the text of myself, each simultaneously in dialogue, shifting on unstable ground. Saorsa (2011) describes the creative act as a process of questioning with no end, in which logic is not enough.

“in the creative process, logic is always superseded by artistic nuance, always interrupted, terminated, redirected and diverted, and the process itself becomes therefore a struggle, a constant dialectic between percept and affect where every mark is transitory and defined only by its indefinite character until the last mark is made.” P. 196

The conversation between painter-me and the painting-of-me, is mirrored by the dialogue of making. To make a painting is to engage in an endless hermeneutic arc. I make a series of decisions. I see them, reflect on them against my shifting sense of self-image, and then remake another set of decisions, which feed back, and back. As the text I create in paint becomes a mirror of self-image, it is evaluated and either assimilated or rejected. Each time these decisions are owned, made personal. I appropriate my own image, from the outside, as I reflexively create a self on both fronts.

The painting has its own laws and demands, which I must seek to reconcile with my own sentience. I am obliged to occupy an objective position. I observe my features with cold scrutiny. There is a structural logic and system to the initial application of paint. But in order to make the painting breathe, to make a true portrait I must move beyond my own distanciation of measurement and construction, making a head that looks like mine. I must make the painting ‘feel’, by entering its space, by allowing the painting to pass through my own boundaries. The painting forms in a space bordered by myself and the painting. The painting  forms intuitively, through doubt, sensory navigation, the  cold objectivity of form, structure, representation, as I walk the boundaries within which I am obliged to be form and formless, self and non-self, various possible depictions, an image with which I identify, an image which I reject. As I build a form, which looks ‘like me’, I build a ‘diagram’ constituted in doubt, a fear of failure, a sense of self-importance, mitigated by humility and a triumph of self-will and determination. The diagram slowly bleeds into the surface and looks ready to implode at any second. Saorsa (2011) describes the limitless expansion of the hermeneutic circle that the artist continually re-draws as a drawing is made,

“just as the artist must ‘enter’ the work to escape the limitations of contingency, there is indeed no going back. Truth cannot be turned away from once discovered, because where the truth of being is that, there is no truth, its revelation reveals the paradox that can only negate the meaning of the search for it, and thus negate in turn the purpose and meaning of Being. The true figure, the essence of Being that true understanding of the meaning of Being can reveal, exists therefore, only and perpetually in search for it.” (p.206)

I take the painting back to Cardiff so that it’s within reach of critique. From then on I am more patient, more considerate of the painting, hoping to move it gradually towards a conclusion. The painting moves from too yellow, too pink (I am a little infatuated with the flesh ochre) and back again. I lose and regain and alter the expression many times. I am looking for, throughout this drawing, a look of doubtful concern. There is a look in Rembrandt’s eyes in his late portraits that feels like his world is about to end. I make myself as a middle aged, fleshy, overweight figure, not entirely unlike Rembrandt in physical attributes. I have looked at myself, in drawing and painting, many times over the years. How much has this process altered the man that I am? How much is it changing me as I make this painting? I am reminded of the two-slit experiment. If the passage of protons through cardboard is affected by observation, how much does this act of looking at myself change the looker? How much do I resolve myself in order to appease observation? By handling paint, by entering a process of not-knowing myself, an interplay of distance and intimate proximity ensues, making myself strange. Elkins (2000) describes painting as a process that is meditative, physical, and a transgression of the normal boundaries of looking.

“The “experiment” of art changes the experimenter, and there is no hope of understanding what happens because there is no “I” that can absorb and control substances themselves. All that is known with certainty is the flow of fluids, back and forth from the tubes to the canvas.

In this domain nothing is secure. The alchemical or artistic work is strangely inside, and the human mind that directs it is also partly its inert substrate. What was once the agent of conceptual control over the work has become the bricks of its furnace, the weave of its canvas. The furnace produces a product that is the furnace, and the mind tries to watch a process that is the mind.” (P.166)

The painting is yet unfinished. It will always be so, just as I am in a state of constant flux. As the painting and I observe each other, the uncertainty is amplified. At some point when the painting is at a point of crisis, where it is a choice between ‘as far as it can go in this direction’ or ‘making a new painting’, I will walk away. A painting is never finished, says Osi Rhys Osmond (2017), it is only ever abandoned. When abandoned, the edge is hardened. From this form, a shadow is cast. It is the shadow I must walk into in order to make another painting. As I hold to form, I must simultaneously let go. As I assume a form, I must shed it, like a skin.

              “Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror

           Up to where you’re bravely working

……

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes

If it were always a fist or always stretched open

You would be paralysed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding

The two as beautifully balanced and coordinated

As birdwings”

(Barks, C. trans. Rumi 2004, p174)